So Mitt Romney is a rich guy. Not holding it against him.
Given, rich people tend to be assholes but there are a few good ones. There’s…
um… Warren Buffet and… um… okay never mind let’s move on. So since he’s rich,
his wife is rich by proxy. So his wife tells us, “I don't even consider myself
wealthy, which is an interesting thing. It can be here today gone tomorrow.”
Yeah, true, but you have it today and most Americans don’t. The lovely Ann
Romney also said, during the same interview, “Some people have lovers in every
port [probably taking a veiled jab at Gingrich]; I have horses in every port.”
I don’t hold horse riding against her at all. I love it myself. On top of that
she’s using it as therapy for her MS. Good for her but for those of you who don’t
have horses; they cost a shit load of money. One more jab at Romney having a
fuck load of money okay? Ready? He’s planning on putting a car elevator on one
of his houses. But he’s not rich.
So the Republicans who are just now realizing that the
majority of Americans are fucking poor tell Mitt to back off talking about how
much money he has. So he does. Instead he moves on to talking about family road
trips with the family dog. Everyone, all at once, Awwwwwww.
So his family was taking a trip to Canada (fucking traitors). Having no room in their car they strap a kennel to the roof and stick their furriest loved one in the kennel. After a long trip on the roof the dog does what dogs do and pisses everywhere. Mitt gets his furry friend off the roof, hoses him off, and sticks him back on the roof. Given, not really relevant to a presidential race, but still kind of mean.
Again the Republicans freak and need to find something wrong Obama’s done with an animal. Preferably something small and loveable. And maybe his dick. So they find out that as a kid in Kenya (or some damn where) he ate dog… he ate… dog. They think they’ve hit the mother load but nobody seemed to really care. As they shouldn’t have.
Moving on!
So Mitt doesn’t seem to have come into his own yet. Like
a pubescent young fellow who doesn’t really know if he’s gay or not. I think
that’s what really pushes him passed just being “eh” to full prickdom. People
started telling him he’s not conservative enough, so he decides to find a new
found interest in the NRA. He finds out that some of his economic views seem a
little too liberal so he assures us, “I’m not
concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there.” “Whoa,” somebody
says, “that’s too conservative,” so, back-peddle, back-peddle, back-peddle. And
then he gets told he’s going to lose the Hispanic vote because of his immigration
views. So then he bends back into a more liberal fellow.
So he’s a political
contortionist. He’ll do anything to get elected therefore he should not be.
